Signing off year 2008

ah, what a year... many things happened... many thoughts rushing through my mind....so what the heck, time to write it down somewhere where I could laugh about these thoughts =]

Let's start off with major categories... Family, Friendship, Financial, School, Relationship, Life.

Family

Wah! Sian diao... i know parents often argue over small and big things. but got to the extend things in the house get broken anot? haiyo, so sad leh. my dad used to be those workers who carry things in the warehouse, so got quite abit of strength. Haiya, dont know la. argue every few weeks, but settle every few days. well, that's the bit of family drama.

I believe that a person's habits are somewhat caused by family background. let's see, i am thrifty by the fact that my family is'nt well off and i can see that fact very clearly due to several reasons such as low allowance. apparently my sis is not, she's a spendthrift. why? coz my parents pampered her since young, she doesnt know the value of money! I wasn't pampered, it was rather tough for me through my childhood. altho much of what happened beyond 8~10 years of age are pretty much erased from my memory. still can remember bits, but were of sad moments.

Friendship

oh yea, friends! I love making friends! ok, that's a lie. why? reason why i made so many friends is to hide the insecurity feeling inside of me. It's the leo instinct u know, constantly needing to be recognised for who he is. Maybe becoz of this, i fail in being a good friend to others. Well, not that i do not have good friends. I do have them! I am just not good as a good friend. At any one time, the world can actually be oblivious to me. It's like i can totally ignore what's going on and become a totally different person altogether. that's sick! But i am trying still, trying ever since i came into poly. There are friends whom i like to hang out with and probably they are my closest friends ever. But i guess in failing to become a good friend, i am just a normal prescene. i dont know if anyone ever told u this, but words matters alot to anyone. Even tho action speaks louder than word? that's a lie most of the time. action and words speak equally, just that it must be done complimented with each other.

Speaking of being a good friend, its just so hard to do so to the opposite gender. people will question "u like that person right?" i guesss it's human nature. why can't opposite genders be good friends? can have girl/boy-friends whom u are fond to be with, but that doesnt mean u are in love with them yea? just love their company, either they share the same interest or they just exlude an aura that u just love to hang around with.

Being on this topic, it seems that girls' perception is very much different from guys'. how so? well, girls can hang out dual or as a group together for no reason with no problem at all. heck, they can even chat on the phone over nothing! but guys? if they ever hang out as a dual for nothing, there's bound to be something wrong. even if they wanna chat on the phone for nothing, there's also something wrong. see the funny perception? guys think that what girls do are gay, while girls think that what they do is perfectly normal to EVERYONE.

yea, i am glad and happy to have found a group of friends whom i love their company and hope to cherish the time together. Fun and bad times, let's hope this stays the same way. in any case, you are still my closest friend, u know who u are =]

Financial

I have a huge problem with money. MONEY NOT ENOUGH! oh come on, let's face it. no money really no talk. how far can u get ahead in life with no money? people often tell me to work for money, but if i only get to spend like 20% of my income, whats there to work. that's almost equivalent to my weekly allowances for a month. mum always surely take money from me due to poor financial situation in my family. of coz i do give money from my pay to my parents, but it was never enough. even after sacrficing 40% of my pay, my mum will still ask for more. GOD! however, complaining will do no help, afterall my parents are the ones taking care of me yea? but hey, i need some personal space here! i have got things that i wanna pursuit too! due to my poor financial situation, i have given up on alot, and i do mean ALOT of things. so many things till i machiam living in a tiny space with limited resources. I guess coz of this, i am pretty much a mountain tortise. I dont hang out with people at all in my sec sch days, till maybe poly year then i started.

School

school work has been hectic in this last semester, heck, i am running out of time even. Calculus really broke my spirit, it totally destroyed me can? i dont even have mood to study for other modules due to calculus. I am so going to do so badly for this semester. gotten back a few results, i see alot of Cs and Ds, haiyo. when will i wake up? it's still not too late. but with the upcoming camp on the weekend be4 6 major deadlines for projects.... i think my head is on the chopping board already.

having joined so many ccas, looks like the aftermath effect is taking a toll on me. I guess i cant committ as much due to this last semester in school. i really want to help out, but i guess i found what i am searching for. I really loved the experience each cca has given me, and i will treasure these experience. Experience makes a person grow, that is very true. afterall, joining ccas was to make friends and i found the group of friends already.

Relationship

Haha! interesting category u might say. But no, i am not in any relationship. there are few girls that crossed my path in my life that somehow made me go gaga over them. but when it comes down to the question of whether am i able to make them happy, i just seem to back away from the thoughts of entering into a relationship. It's complex no matter how u look at it. I am afraid of it, hence i always back off from it. i will simply stand by their side and watch them grow. the moments i spend with them is something that i cherish. enjoying every moment there is. In my poly life, i guess there are girls that i fancy. but again, i will walk the path beside them and watch them as the day goes past. "Nothing wrong in doing that, but just dont regret it" is something someone told me. Of coz i regret it, but its such a complex matter that just being involved in their life is what i can do now. i have already given up on these "feelings", being able to see them and involving oneself within their memories is good enough for me =]

Life

Life's like that, in a glance, another year is gone yet again. Here comes 2009, what will happen i wonder. Graduating year, Ns year, MORE DECISIONS TO MAKE year. sometimes, i really wonder, why do we have to live, study, work. Perhaps having a goal in life is what keeps a person going on to live. I need a goal too. apparently i do not have any. live a day, tell a tale, live another day tell another tale. is the kind of life i am living.

well, goodbye year 2008. you have granted me a wonderful experience. its time to embrace the new year and live life to the fullest! fullest? haha! i guess to the fullest would meant chrishing every moment u spend with the favourite event/thing/person u like.

Signing off,
Zhi Wei